Strong language in this post. Sorry about the lack of pictures, some are recycled as my game kept on crashing. Writing isn’t spot on though I tried. School has been getting crazy and its hard for me to manage.
“My name is Natalie Windfield, and I suffer from some kind of crap depression.” I stared at myself in the mirror and circled my belly, the belly that held a baby inside. Funny, how when I first began my challenge, I was so excited to have these babies. My heart would be all aflutter and I could not breathe without grinning. Now my belly looked uninteresting. The challenge seemed stupid. I couldn’t even pick out the fathers any more. New in technology, two eggs would be in my womb while the different sperm of different dads would meet the eggs, so two different babies with different dads could be in my stomach at the same time. The dads were Spencer Collins and an unknown donor.
“Too AA meeting.” I mumbled to myself, flopping on the bed.
The Wellness Center was supposed to be this awesome Zen place, a place when you walk in with problems and walk out with them gone. Albeit that is impossible and even though I’m dreading it, I do somewhat want to start the long road to recovery. This place has many challenge parents in it, at least. I found out about it from Electra.
“I think you should go to The Wellness Center, Nats.”
I looked at her with disgust.
“No, Electra, I’m not going to any bullshit place where they tell me I’m wrong and my lifestyle is wrong and I need to accept Budda in my life.”
“No, this is the place where Skye goes.”
“Skye has depression?” I asked, curling up on the couch.
“No. Well, yes. She used to and now she gives talks to others about how to overcome it. Nothing preachy-like.” Electra said quickly when she saw the disdain on my face. “You know Skye.”
I know Skye. And I know I’m going to hate this afternoon.
I push wearily through the door of The Wellness Center, leaving the icy air behind me. It was still vicious, considering Spring should be coming soon.
“Morning!” A voice said in light, cheery tones. I gave the voice a nod, and as I turned to match the familiar voice to a face I saw Chloe Moreau a close friend of mine busy organizing some books on a desk. “Natalie!” She beamed. “Sit down next to Jackson over there, I’m sure you know Jackson, don’t you?”
I smiled at Jackson, and I gave him a hug. I knew him, as I had just participated in his challenge.
“Sorry I’m late.” A woman with beautiful pink eyes and black and pink hair sat herself down next to me. I looked at her wearily and she suddenly felt my gaze upon her and whipped her head round.
“Aria. Aria Eden. 56 babies.” I nodded.
“Natalie. Natalie Anders, 50 babies.”
“Congrats.” She turned to Skye, who was walking in briskly. It was so strange how everyone seemed so different here than on Facebook. They all seemed so withdrawn…so depressed.
“All here? Let me just tick off the register…Sorry to any newbies, though the register makes it easier to keep track of who’s gonna be sticking with us.” Skye looked up. “Ok, Chloe is obviously here…Charmain…Ariel…Jackson…Natalie…Aria. Alright, I’ll start.
“When I was a teenager, I had depression because I lost her memory and had an identity crisis. Depression isn’t nice, as all of us know, though with the help of Chloe and I, we’ll help you get through this. Chloe has suffered depression after her daughter, Prim died of cancer. The Wellness Center is not going to try be like an AA meeting when we all talk about the wrong things we’ve done- here we’re focused on the future. Not the past. I’m going to ask anyone who feels compelled to tell their story to come forward.”
Immediately Jackson stood up.
“When I was younger, I married the love of my life, Isabella. She got breast cancer and passed on…” His voice turned raspy with emotion. “And she told me I should move on. And I will.” He said everything so quickly and simply, though it was so emotional to me.
“You can do it, Jackson. You can do it. Now, next we have Ariel. Ariel, just tell us a little of your story.”
” I watched my husband get murdered and I got attacked by the murderer. Hence the scar,” She gestured to the scar underneath her beautiful gray eyes. ” And then I killed him myself. I’m suffering from depression, though I’m sure I can get through it.”
“Thank you. Charmain?”
“I’ve been suffering from depression since my parents died from a fire on Christmas day and I’ve lived in an orphanage until I was 18. With the help of my kids I’m getting through it.”
“Thank you. Aria?”
“Hmm, lets see. I lost the love of my life, I was raped, I’ve lost multiple friendships, and I relapsed into drug use. That’s all I can say and I’m not gonna be saying some positive crap to you.”
I was in awe of this beautiful woman and how she was so “confident”, though the awe melted away as I realized how much worse off she was compared to me.
“Ok, thank you Aria,” Skye’s tone was still calm as she scribbled down something next to her name. “Natalie?”
“Hi…erm, my name is Natalie and I think I’m suffering from depression.” I took a deep breath. “My two children died in a fire recently and I was raped on my wedding night…” Tears began to trickle down my face and I concealed the deep sadness with a smile. Skye nodded as Chloe said something to her, then she said loudly to us all: “Thanks for coming guys. Today was just to get to know you all. Next week we’ll move onto getting over your depression. See you next week.”
Walking though the string of people and walking straight out the door, I felt so conflicted with feelings.
“Oh shit!” I yelled loudly as I felt into my pocket and realized I had left my cellphone at home, so I couldn’t call a taxi to get back. Guess I have to walk back.
The wind was even more vicious than I had thought as it howled in my ears. I began to quietly cry, my sobs drowned out my the wind. Suddenly a car stopped next to me and it hooted.
“Fuck off!” I cried hysterically. “I’m not a prostitute! I’m not a …” I trailed off as the car door began to open.
“Shit shit shit…” I began to run, half crying half laughing as the man stepped out.
“Natalie! Natalie Windfield! Its me, Blaine Hawkins!”
“Blaine?” I turned my head around and saw the ginger ninja outside his car, his face crumpled in concern.
“Sure! Thanks, dude.” I hopped in his car and wiped away my tears.
“Natalie, are you ok?”
“Yep. Just, you know…trying to keep up normality.” My voice began to break as tears got stuck up in my throat; and I turned away and looked out the window.
“Thanks for the ride, Blaine,” I got out as he drew up at my house.
“Hey, Natalie…” He said.
As his car drove off into the distance, I opened my mailbox and grabbed the mail. Bills, bills, bills… a letter from the military. I fumbled with the seal of the letter while I opened the house and let myself in.
“Hello honey,” I grinned at Damon as he finished his homework. I sat down and opened the letter.
Dear Mrs Alexander Anders,
It it with our deepest sympathy that we inform you of your husband, Alexander Anders’ death on the battlefield…
My face went white.
“Mom? Mom? Are you ok?” Damon cried. His concerned expression changed into an expression of blankness as he read the letter. He did not know his “father”; though he knew how much he meant to me.
Alex was dead.
All I remember was a strangled cry, and then the blackness of despair.
Babies 51, Kingsley and Baby 52, Mercedes.
Baby 52, Mercedes Collins- Windfield